Mamihlapinatapei—the look between
twothree people in which each loves the others but is too afraid to make the first move.
travel light, someone told eliot once, when he was still green and whole and genuinely believed it was only bad men who ended up bleeding out and alone. travel light, they said, because everything you carry makes you heavy, everything you keep is a weight around your ankles. travel light, son, travel light.
except sometimes hardison slings an arm over eliot’s shoulders, or parker falls asleep with her head in his lap, and eliot can feel himself sinking.
.
stall, hardison says, and eliot does.
lie, parker says, and eliot lies.
run, hardison tells him, and eliot runs. jump, parker tells him, and eliot never asks how high. he’ll grow wings before then.
he waits for them to tell him, stay.
.
he keeps waiting.
